Bears Prepare for Fox Business News | stockbee

10/04/2007

Bears Prepare for Fox Business News

A Dash of Insight has a "leaked " transcript of what the popular bloggers and bearish pundits are planing for the Fox Channel.


The document purports to be a transcript of a secret meeting of Bearish market pundits, preparing for the launch of the new Fox Business Network on October 15th. The participants include "Bear Leader," a widely-publicized market commentator, and a group of trainees--cubs, if you will. One of the trainees thought he was signing up to be a turtle, not a cub, and he turned over his recording of the meeting. Since the recording was made without the consent of other participants, it lacks any legal status.

START TRANSCRIPT

Bear Leader: We all know why we are here today. TV wants a bear on every show. Now it is not just Bloomberg and Bubblevision. We also have to cover Fox. Meanwhile, our ranks are thin. It has been tough to be a bear. Some team members have even cut back on appearances. Your job is to change all that! Now let me hear it!

Cubs: Sub-slime! Sub-slime! Housing Led Recession!

Bear Leader: That's the spirit. Now you have all read the Bear's Guidebook, so this session should just be a review. Let's start with the economy. When you get a GDP report that looks good, find something wrong! Say that it will be revised. Find something wrong with the timing. If a quarter is lower than the past quarter, then the economy is "decelerating." This is beautiful because it is a big word that sounds terrible even if the rate of growth is OK. You can milk a bad quarter for months this way.

Cub: What if the next quarter is better?

Bear Leader: Easy. That's backward looking data. We look forward to the next quarter! The same with economic indicators. What is the best indicator?

Cub: Baltic Dry Freight? Dr. Copper?

Bear Leader: NO!! Those are the old indicators. Get the new playbook or you are off the team. We are going with industrial production and housing starts. Those are the only bad numbers recently, so use them.

Cub: What about sentiment, ISM, and jobless claims?

Bear Leader: These are all off their highs. It does not matter if the numbers are OK, just say it is off of the high of eight months ago or whatever. The chartman will keep us all up to date.

Read the entire stuff. It is hilarious but accurate description of popular bearish pundits propaganda skills.

2 comments:

Jeff said...

Glad you enjoyed, and thanks for the mention.

It is nice to have a little fun.

Jeff

Pradeep Bonde said...

Nice job. It was fun reading it.